Do you think your husband likes to spend time doing his hobby more than he likes spending time as family?

I work shift work, 12 hour days as well. It doesn't leave much of an evening to relax. I usually take one of my days off to do my own stuff. I get 4 off though not just the one (that would suck!!!) so we have 3 days to do things together. When I pull coverage and do 6 days I get stressed because of the 72 hour work week and don't want to do anything on my day off. On the flip side of that, my wife wants more attention and family time on my day off. I try to be open, but often it makes me grumpy. One suggestion is for you and your daughter to go spend time with him in the garden. I can't imagine pulling 6 12 hour shifts a week! You gotta let him have time to unwind. I wouldn't try to plan something every week, but maybe half days every other week would work for him. It sounds to me like he is using the gardening for some "zen" like relaxation. I don't know what job he has but he might be relishing the peace and quiet of the garden too.